DA 2010 Episode 6: Regarding Memories
by AngelExposed
Summary: Rogue is still struggling to come to terms with Remy's loss of memories, meanwhile the other X-Men are trying to help Remy recover some of that which was lost (finished R&R)
1. Chapter 1: A Lot of Things

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 6

Chapter 1:  A Lot of Things

"U got it, u got it bad  
When you're on the phone  
Hang up and you call right back  
U got it, u got it bad  
If you miss a day without your friend  
Your whole life's off track  
ooo you got it bad when you're stuck in the house  
You don't wanna have fun  
It's all you think about  
U got it bad when you're out with someone  
But you keep on thinkin' bout somebody else  
U got it bad"

             Rogue quickly switched the CD player off as she entered into the recreation room, the younger students living in the mansion who had been listening to some old CDs were giving her a strange look.  She'd just stormed in and turned off their music, she supposed they had a reason to look at her in that way.  She gave a grin, "sorry, that song drives me nuts," she shrugged, "I never did like Usher."

             Rogue watched as the four students dispersed from the room muttering about the X-Men having priority over everything she sighed, realising she must have come off as bitchy to the teens, but she had reason.  She'd never been able to listen to that song in the last seven years.  It always brought memories flooding back to her – memories that right now she was particularly convinced she could do without. 

             "Nice, Rogue," Bobby Drake had followed Rogue into the room, he grinned, "scare them all off why don't you," he added with a soft laugh.

             Rogue slumped down on the couch with a sigh, "nothing scares those kids…except the concept of chores and homework of course," she added thoughtfully, she pulled her knees to her chest, "this day has been dreadful, Bobby…I hate being on Danger Room training with them…"

             Bobby gave a soft laugh, "they need to get into shape – they're worse than we were their age, and that's REALLY sayin' something," he sat beside her slinging his arm around her shoulder, "What's up with you, you've been in a weird mood ever since yesterday.  You're more quiet than usual."

             Rogue gave a shrug, resting her chin upon her knees, hugging her legs closer to her, she glanced to the Television.  It was on, however, the sound was down.  She glanced around hoping the remote control might be in the nearby vicinity, so she could turn up the sound and hopefully distract him from wanting to know anything else about her strange mood.

             "Is this about Gambit?" 

             Rogue flinched at the sound of the name, and sighed, "maybe," she hugged her legs even closer to herself, looking towards the television trying to pretend to be more concerned with the 'Friends' episode that was on rather than Bobby's questioning.

             "You said you were distancing," Bobby looked rather indignant.

             "That was then, this is now," Rogue commented coolly, she frowned in confusion as Bobby removed his arm from around her and got up, she watched him curiously.

             "Y'know, he might NEVER remember you – and that might be a good thing, Rogue…because if he can't remember you, he doesn't have a hold over you anymore – and you can move on," Bobby paced in a very frantic fashion that left Rogue uneasy.

             Rogue felt her body tense, this statement was certainly true, and yet, it didn't relieve her worries.  "Remy might have forgotten about what we had, but I haven't," she commented, her voice had a trace of edginess.

             "What you had was some incredibly fucked up shit, Rogue.  All his doing.  And you keep letting yourself think about it and you still want him back and GOD KNOWS WHY! " Bobby rolled his light blue eyes, and looked away from her, "I mean why would you ever want to put yourself through that all again?  And besides, you could do so much better."

             "Yeah, right," Rogue absently picked at a loose thread on her pants.

             "Rogue, you know it and I know it, isn't a man OR mutant alive in Bayville who hasn't dreamed about being with you…" Bobby explained, then trailed off, his eyes falling to the floor, his cheeks reddening ever so slightly that Rogue could barely notice.

             "Sure, whatever," Rogue sighed, but she knew this was quite true, she'd seen the looks of the men in bars, and on the streets, they noticed her, and it wasn't just the silvery white streaks that contrast against her chestnut brown hair.  As the years had passed, Rogue had begun to become more and more aware of her attractiveness and the affects it had on people, but she'd for the most part, grown to ignore it.

             "Rogue, will you just think about what I'm saying?" Bobby looked at her with a seriousness that didn't suit his boyishly handsome face.

             "Why is this bothering you so much?" Rogue stood slowly, she tossed her ponytail over her shoulder. 

             "Because I don't like seeing you get messed around," Bobby responded rather quickly.

             Rogue grinned, and stepped over to him, she slapped him on the shoulder in a reassuring way, "No one's going to mess me around.  I'm not a fifteen year old goth with an inferiority complex and problems with getting close to people – not anymore."

             "I know that," Bobby sighed.

             Rogue smiled, "trust me, I'm not going to get messed around, don't worry so much about me, I'll be fine," she said confidently, then turned on her heel and strode out of the room poised and self-assured. 

             But those feelings began to slowly ebb away as she carried on down the hallway, surprised to see Remy LeBeau walking past in the hallway ahead never even noticing her presence.  Rogue came to where the two hallways joined, and called out his name.

             "Remy…?"

             Remy LeBeau stopped and turned, his eyes darker underneath than usual, his face slightly paler.  He looked at her with some slight vague recognition, and smiled somewhat wearily.

             "You're meant to be resting," Rogue pointed out, she looked him over.  Hair unkempt, face unshaven, and wearing a dark grey jogging suit that seemed to accent his broad shoulders, and slim waist.  

             He watched as she approached, his face full of relief as if he'd been looking for her, yet guilt as if he'd been caught by a school teacher doing something all together naughty.  His expressions were no longer smug and confident, but insecure and shy.  "I…uhm…I'm lost," he said sounding quite embarrassed, he kept his eyes on her and slightly chewed into his bottom lip.

             Rogue reached him, "c'mon, the hospital wing is this way," she took a hold of his arm gently with her gloved hand, looking at him all the while.

             Remy gave a sigh of defeat, "I thought…"

             "Hmm?" Rogue asked as they walked together, she kept her pace slow, noticing his movement still slightly restricted by the wound.

             "I thought…if I looked around…it might jog my memory…" he said somewhat bashfully, he tucked a very long lock of his dark brown hair behind his ear, still keeping his undivided attention upon her all the while as he walked with a very slight hobble.

             It was the first time Rogue had really had a chance to talk to Remy since finding out about his amnesia, she found it difficult, what could she say to ease his troubled mind?  And what could she say to ease her own?

             "I guess you still haven't remembered much…" Rogue led him into the hospital wing, and over to his bed, she watched as he sat down slowly, he finally took his eyes off of her.

             "I haven't remembered anything…" he frowned a little, "don't know who I am, where I am…and everyone is keeping me in the dark as much as they can…" he raised his eyes to her, there was worry upon his face, "You keep calling me Remy but…I don't know if that's even my name…"

             "It is," Rogue said softly, she sat beside him, turning towards him, "Remy LeBeau…"

             "You know me well then?" He asked, raising an eyebrow very slightly, his eyes searching her for an answer.

             "I…guess you could say that," Rogue rubbed the back of her neck absently, she looked around the room, how could she tell him they'd once been in love?  Would this be too much to tell him?  Or would this help in restoring some of those memories that seemed to have been forgotten.

             "You could tell me about me…maybe then I can remember…" he put his hand on her hand.

             "You shouldn't touch me," Rogue noted that his fingers had just barely missed the exposed flesh between her sleeve and glove, "its dangerous," she took his hand with her free hand to move it, finding his fingers twined with hers as she did so, she swallowed nervously and looked at him.

             She'd seen Remy LeBeau in so many other vulnerable situations – seen him more vulnerable than he was right now.  After all the experience she'd had with seeing him like this, she'd hoped to be immune to the effects he had over her, but as she looked into those unbelievable eyes of his, tears were building up in her own, and she did not even realise it.

             "Are you alright?" he asked, his voice full of sudden concern.

             Rogue felt the emotion overwhelm her and she moved away from him, "I'm fine," she sniffed, she wiped her face on her sleeve, "something in my eye…god, dust or something…I must look so stupid…"  
             He watched her all the while, as if he didn't really believe a word she said, he stood, but winced at the pain in his side, and Rogue caught his arms before he could stagger.  Their eyes were right at each others.

             "Sorry…" Remy's voice was barely a whisper.

             Rogue felt so obliged to tell him right then that her feelings were still strong for him, but how could she expect him to understand?  And yet, he had no memory of her, and there was an attraction, something she could see was much further than just the way she looked.  Something in him seemed to recognise her, and was being drawn to her.

             "Remy…please…" Rogue drew her breath, "rest…you'll never heal."

             "There's so much I need to ask," he interjected.

             "Later," Rogue sighed, "I…have other things to do."

             "Will you come back to see me?" he asked hopefully, "there's a lot of things I need to know…and since you know me…or…knew who I was…" he seemed slightly confused, but continued, "maybe you'd be the best one to…explain things…"

             "I'm not sure I can," Rogue pulled away from him, "Ask the professor, he'll tell you whatever you need to know…" she trailed off, she gave him one final glance from over her shoulder, and then left the room with her heart thudding furiously in her chest.


	2. Chapter 2: The Man You Were

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 6

Chapter 2:  The Man You Were

             "You've been out of bed," Jean Grey said sounding ever so slightly miffed as she stepped through the doorway of the hospital wing carrying a tray with some food, she set it down on the cabinet beside the bed Remy was stretched out on.

             "How did you know?" Remy seemed surprised, his eyes widening a little, and Jean was able to see that he was wondering if perhaps she'd been reading his mind.

             "I saw you leaving the bed on one of the security monitors while I was in the war room," Jean stated, "there's a camera right up there," she gestured to the corner of the room where a camera was hidden inside a black dome attached to the ceiling itself. 

             "Thank goodness I didn't do anything embarrassing to kill the boredom," Remy wiggled his eyebrows a little, but his cheeks reddened somewhat at this mere thought.

             Jean gave a slight laugh, "that certainly is a relief," she admitted.  "Please don't leave your bed again."

             "I don't need to be lying in a hospital bed," Remy sat up a little, wincing in pain.

             Jean rolled her eyes a little but smiled, "You fail to realise how much bloody you lost or how close to death you were," she explained, "and that wound is in a very awkward place on your side, every time you move you make it bleed…" she admitted.

             "Not much," Remy shrugged.

"Here, eat this…" she placed the tray with the food on his lap carefully. 

             "Why is no one answering my questions?" Remy sighed, he picked up a half of the sandwich on the plate in front of him, he half-heartedly took a bite of the sandwich.

             "You shouldn't concern yourself with these things right now, you need rest," Jean bent down to pick up a needle from the floor, "You've pulled out the drip again," she sighed.

             "I don't like it in, it stings," Remy muttered through his mouthful of sandwich.

             Jean went about disposing of the used needle, "how is the pain?" she asked softly.

             "Not too bad," Remy stated, he remained quiet for a moment, there was an awkward silence that filled the room, looming over the both of them.  

Jean used that moment to let her powers access Remy's mind.  There were vague thoughts, only questions he wanted to ask and had asked without answering.  Jean decided to break the awkward silence quickly and try and deter him from realising what she'd been doing, "you complain about the sting of the drip needle when you have a bullet hole in your side," she gave a slight smirk, "are you sure you wouldn't like the drip back in?"

             "I'm sure," Remy stated in a jaded tone, he kept his hypnotic eyes upon her all the while, "You took a long time to respond to that…were you reading my mind again?" he queried softly.

             Jean looked away, quickly deciding to change the subject, "would you like me to get a television moved in here for you?"

             "Why didn't you answer my question?" Remy sat up a little straighter, his voice becoming rather edgy.

             Jean walked over to a small cabinet and unlocked it with a key she'd had in her pocket, she took a few bandages, some cotton swabs and a bottle of antiseptic out and locked it once again, she walked over, "would you be upset if I had read your mind?"

             Remy thought about this, "I would be…except there's nothing in my head worth reading…since…I don't have any memories or any secrets to hide – at least I don't think I do…"

             Jean moved the tray from his lap to the cabinet beside him, "I need to change your bandages," she said softly, she sat down at his side, pulling on a pair of surgical gloves, "remove your top, please."

             "Do you see anything in my mind?" He asked curiously, he unzipped his hooded top, revealing his bare torso beneath.  "Being telepathic…you must see something, must…I don't know…be able to see things in my head that I don't know are there."

             "It's not as easy as that," Jean sighed, she watched as he removed the top and tossed it aside, sitting there bare-chested, the bandage around his waist slightly stained with blood.  "Your mind was never particularly easy to read – even before the amnesia," she said softly, "it may have something to do with your mutant abilities or it may not, I'm not particularly sure," she began to carefully unwrap the bandage that was already around Remy's waist.

             Remy winced as the bandages began to come off, "what's a mutant?" he asked with a sharp breath.

             Jean looked at him, "You are…I am…we all are," she kept her eyes upon his hoping to see some recognition of this information in his mind.  No response, except curiosity mainly.

             "So…at least now I know two things about myself," Remy grumbled, "My name and I'm a mutant…although I'm not really sure what a mutant is…" he sighed, "can you tell me more?"

             "You REALLY don't remember what a mutant is?" Jean found herself absolutely stunned, bright green eyes wide in astonishment.

             Remy shook his head in a very sad and unsure way.

             Jean paused for thought, then smiled a little apprehensively, "do you want the long and detailed explanation or the simple one?" she raised an eyebrow.

             Remy gave a nervous grin, "the simple one would be useful…"

             Jean nodded, "fine…" she tucked her hair behind her ear, looked around the room for a moment, thinking of how to word it, "a mutant – what you and me are – is a human with a slightly evolved gene in our DNA which has—"

             "This sounds like the long and detailed explanation…" Remy admitted worriedly.

             Jean grinned, "sorry.  Plain and simple explanation is…we have powers…" she gestured to the other side of the room where a chair was pressed with its back against the plain white wall.  She tilted her head slightly, focusing all her concentration on the chair, and both she and Remy watched the chair as it moved five feet sideways, the legs slightly dragging on the tile floor, creating a loud noise as it did.

             "Holy shit…" Remy whispered, "you did that?"

             Jean softly nodded, "yes…I'm telekinetic…and telepathic…"

             "So could I do that?" he queried.

             "Not really," Jean explained, "Your powers are quite different from mines, not every mutant has the same ability.  And while there are a few of us who had similar abilities to each other, most of us have very unique gifts…"

             Remy looked at her, "so…can you tell me what my 'gift' is then?"

             "It's not my place to," Jean admitted, she completely removed the bandages and disposed of them, then began clean gently around the wound with the antiseptic and cotton swabs.

             "How can you expect me to ever get my memory back if you don't tell me who I am?" Remy asked, he made a number of pained faces as she gently patted the cotton and antiseptic around the bullet wound on his side, "and how did I get this fucking wound anyway?" he groaned, "it's a gunshot wound, right?"

"Yeah, it is," Jean nodded, "and its going to leave one hell of a scar too…" she said sympathetically.

"So…are you ever gonna tell me who shot me?"

Jean clenched her teeth as she swabbed the wound tenderly, she did not give an answer.

"C'mon…you gotta tell me, who wanted to hurt me?" his expression became hurt and lost.

             Jean looked at him, "I can't really answer that," she sighed, feeling it wasn't her place.  This kind of news might be quite damaging to him when his mind was already so frail, she didn't want to tell him anything too shocking.  

             "People shot me…did I do something bad?" he asked, his voice was so innocent it almost reminded Jean of the way a child would speak.  There was a new purity in Remy's whole personality no one had ever seen before.  

             Jean began to put on the new bandages, "Please don't concern yourself with the man you were," she pleaded.

             Remy stopped her, taking a firm hold of her wrist, and held her hand still until she glanced up to his eyes, "You need to help me…"

             "Trust me, we're going to do everything in our power to help you retrieve your memories, but don't worry, Remy," she pulled free of his grasp and continued with what she was doing, trying to stay focused although his desperation for information was becoming very distracting to her.  

Remy looked away, his expression becoming very preoccupied and distant. 

Jean felt this was a good moment to try and reassure him, "This is just temporary because of the trauma of your wound.  Eventually your memories will come back," she promised, even though she knew there might be a slight possibility – even a one percent chance – that this might not be true.

Remy gave a distant sigh, "what am I meant to do until I get my memories back, just sit here like an invalid and never have answers to my questions…?"

Jean realised this did seem a tad cruel to leave someone in so much darkness about their whole identity.  "I…I tell you what, there's one of us in this mansion who knows you really well…"

"Rogue?" Remy asked, sounding quite hopeful.

             "No…her name is Kitty," Jean answered, she would have suggested he speak to Rogue but Rogue had enough problems with their past relationship to be responsible enough to tell him everything he needed to know.  Jean suspected Rogue might tell Remy only the good things about himself and change Remy's whole identity.  

             "I don't know that name," Remy sighed.

             "Kitty knows you well, for eight years she's been your friend," Jean explained, "and she's nice, and she's friendly, and she'll answer your questions as honestly as she can," Jean explained, "I'll speak to her and see if I can get her to come and see you – maybe it'll help."

             "That…would be great," Remy admitted, finally smiling fully.

Jean finally finished wrapping the bandages around his waist and secured them, "there," she smiled.  "Now if you'll excuse me," she disposed of the used swabs and the surgical gloves, "I have other things to do," she headed towards the door, "finish your food, I'll be back to check up on you later."

Remy nodded, but didn't look particularly thrilled. Jean felt rather relieved as she left the room, she had a terrible feeling growing within herself, but she could not exactly pinpoint what it was.  Trying to shake it off, she decided she needed to confront the Professor. 


	3. Chapter 3: I Had a Feeling

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 6

Chapter 3:  I Had a Feeling

             "Professor?" Jean asked softly as she entered Professor Xavier's office, the door was already open, the Professor sat behind his desk with a large book in front of him, pouring over the pages intensely.

             "Ah, Jean, I had a feeling you would be coming to see me this evening," he raised his piercing blue eyes up and glanced towards her, he gave a slight welcoming smile, "about Gambit no doubt?"

             Jean sighed, closed the door behind herself and crossed the dark wooden floor, took a seat on the leather chair near the fireplace, "I took a brief look in his mind Professor, and everything was so vague, but I didn't see a sign of any of the memories that should have been somewhere there…"

             Professor Xavier left the desk, moving over to near the fireplace, sitting with his back straight in the wheelchair, "what did you see in his mind, Jean?"

             Jean slouched in the chair a little, crossing one leg over the other, folding her arms comfortably, "confusion…a lot of it.  Everything was so hazy and unclear, and even the sound of his thoughts seemed to echo as if his mind were empty like a large room."

             Professor Xavier took a poker from the fireside and reached over to stoke the fire as the flames were burning low to the glowing embers, "I've telepathically asked Hank to join us in this conversation, this is something we should talk about in depth to try and determine some possible solutions to the problem."

             "The only solution I can think of is trying to telepathically jump into his mind and yank out the memories," Jean stated.

             "If only it were that simple," Professor Xavier sighed as he put the poker back, "Remy's mind is rather frail, and he is weak, treading around in his psyche could permanently damage him to the extent he might never retrieve any memories back…" 

             Jean watched the flames pulsing upon the embers, "what other options are there?"

             The door opened and Hank McCoy slipped in, his glasses slightly low on his nose, "good evening," he said softly, he walked over to warm by the fire, "chilly night, don't you think?"

             "Very," Professor nodded, he offered Hank the other chair by the fire, which sat opposite Jean, "please sit," he said gently to Hank.

             Hank took a seat, sitting slightly upon the edge to lean closer to the fire, "would I be right in assuming that this discussion is to determine any possible treatments for Remy's amnesia?"

             Professor Xavier took a moment to reply, "you would be correct in that assumption," he admitted, "I have spent the day pouring over information regarding amnesia with very little result, most suggestions include trying to 'jog' the memory as it were, there are other treatments that include drugs, but I would like to try and keep as far away from this as possible…"

             "I was thinking perhaps we could ask Kitty to spend some time with Remy to try and help him remember things.  She and him were close friends…"

             "Why not Rogue?" Hank asked, seeming to think Rogue might be the better candidate, "she was closer to Remy even than Kitty was, and still seems to genuinely care – however much she tries to deny it."

             "That's certainly true, she does still care for Remy – and yes, she knew him better than any of us, but we have to also taken into account of her past history with him," Jean pointed out.

             Professor Xavier gave a firm nod, "yes, Rogue might feel tempted to leave out certain factors of Remy's past – the numerous times he hurt her emotionally for instance, or his engagement and child – which in the end could be far more damaging if he should find about these things accidentally from someone else much later…"

             Jean nodded.

             Hank paused for a moment, "either way these things could damage him even more than you realise," he admitted, he paused again, as if thinking deeply, then he reached into his pocket, bringing out an orange bottle, "When you brought him to the hospital bay for treatment, I found these in the pocket of that old trenchcoat he was wearing," he said, handing the bottle over to Jean.

             Jean looked at the bottle, turning it around in her hands, "Lithium…" she frowned a little, "yes I remember reading in the paper that they had found various prescriptions in his apartment for what they had deemed various mental disorders…" she nodded.

             "Kitty came to me not long before you brought Remy to us, Remy had told her he was a manic depressive…and this concerns me a great deal – this could make anything we tell him all the more damaging…"

             "How long do you think this has been going on for, Hank?" Jean asked softly, she coiled a lock of her hair absently around her finger as she watched him closely, listening attentively.

             "I'm unsure really, I don't even think Kitty knows the answer to that – otherwise I think she might have mentioned.  She did seem concerned."

             "Does Rogue know about this?" Professor Xavier asked of Hank.

             "I doubt it…if she knew I think she would seem even more concerned than she is now…" Hank admitted softly, "besides, she's been asking questions that seem to indicate that she doesn't really understand what 'mental disorder' he has…but like everyone else she read about it in the newspaper, and has been asking," he scratched his chin thoughtfully, "I think this should remain between us for now.

             "Are we agreed that Kitty would be the best candidate to help Remy?" Jean asked, bringing up the subject they'd only recently discussed but had never been agreed upon.

             "Under normal circumstances I would encourage that idea, but Kitty is grieving, and it might not be the best idea to have her take on Remy's problem when she's barely dealing with her parents death as it is," Professor Xavier pointed out.

             "No, I have to disagree," Hank said to Professor Xavier, "When Kitty spoke with me about Remy she admitted that her concern about Remy was helping her take her mind off of her grieving – perhaps having this project might do her the world of good?" he queried.

             Professor Xavier spent a few moments thinking about this, "very well…I have no reason to question your judgement on this.  Would one of you like to speak with Kitty on the subject or would you prefer me to do it?"

             "I think perhaps you'd be the best to do it," Hank suggested, "if I were to ask her to do this she'd think it was out of pity that I was giving her a task in this situation."

             "Oh, Hank, I'm sure Kitty wouldn't think that," Jean shook her head, but smiled, "shall I contact her telepathically Professor?" she asked, "to advise her you want to talk to her?"

             "I'll do that myself, Jean," Professor Xavier smiled, perhaps a little wearily, but genuinely nonetheless.  "Thank you for your time."

             Kitty was cleaning through her closet when Professor Xavier contacted her telepathically asking her to come see him in his office on the first floor.  Wondering what the Professor could possibly want with her at eight pm, she pulled herself up, closed her closet door for the time being, and headed downstairs to the first floor.

             The halls where noisy, the students of the mansion rushed by, one of them on rollerblades, the other flying through the air, arms outstretched.

             "Hey you guys!" Kitty called after them, "c'mon, you know no one's meant to be flying in the mansion – or blading."

             "I've seen Rogue flying through the mansion," a young student turned, her hair long and sleek black set against her soft brown skin.  She had a tendency to be quite hoity-toity most of the time and this bugged Kitty a great deal, she could do without Monet St Croix's attitude for tonight.

             "Rogue is an adult," Kitty responded, "and don't talk back to me," she added wearily, and wandered off down towards Professor Xavier's office.  She knocked upon the thick four panelled mahogany door, and waited for a reply.

             {Come in, Kitty,} she heard echoing in her head, and rather than use the effort of turning the handle, she phased herself through, ending up on the other side of the office.

             "Good evening, Professor," Kitty said rather humbly, she had barely spoken to him since her return to the X-Men and realised this made for an awkward silence she wasn't used to experiencing in his presence.  

             "Please, sit down," Professor Xavier smiled, he was by the fire in his wheelchair, a fine dark green tartan blanket covering his legs.  

             Kitty took a seat in one of the plush brown leather wing backed chairs near the fire, and leaned back, sinking in, "am I in trouble?" she asked, she had strange memories of having done something wrong and being brought into the office to discuss punishment.  Usually, however, those times didn't involve being offered a chair by the fireside.  

             "No, no, of course not," Professor Xavier gave a soft smile and chortled slightly, "How have you been feeling, Kitty?"

             Kitty gave a sigh, and thought for a moment, "how do you expect me to feel?" she shrugged, "I've just lost my mom and dad…everything in my life is a mess…"

             "Of course," Professor Xavier nodded, "I would like to remind you that you need not suffer the feeling of loneliness that mourning can bring upon you, we are all here for you," he said softly.

             "So…what, is this some kind of 'cheer up, Kitty' pep-talk?" Kitty asked, she leaned slightly forward, resting her elbows on her knees.  She could see the Professor studying the tearstains on her cheeks.

             "No, of course not…" Professor Xavier smiled again, then became rather serious, "You're close with Gambit, yes?"

             Kitty thought about this, she guessed in some way she could consider herself somewhat close to him, "in a way, I guess," she admitted feebly, she rested her cheeks upon her hands, looking at him.

             "Jean and I have been discussion possible means of treatment for Remy – to help him gain his memories back," Professor Xavier admitted, he rested his hands in his lap and watched her face for any slight twitch that would suggest her awkwardness.  When no sign came, he continued, "And as you are close to him…it might be in his best interests if you were to aid him – teach him things about himself, try and remind him of things…"  
             "But professor," Kitty interjected, she sat up straight now, "Yes, I guess I'm close to Remy – but for seven years we didn't even see each other – how am I supposed to remind him things about himself when all I know are things that he probably had forgotten before his amnesia even kicked in…?"

             "This is a valid point," Professor Xavier admitted carefully, "however, in the time you spent with him in Illinois, surely you must have learned some things about his present way of life…things that might help him get back on track?"

             Kitty shrugged, "very vague things, Professor…I'm not sure I'm the best person to do this, y'know," she chewed on her fingernails absently for a moment, then mentally kicked herself for doing so, "how about Rogue?  She knows Remy better than he knows himself."

             "I doubt that is true…" Professor Xavier grinned slightly, "and I did consider Rogue at first, but…with her past history with him, with some lingering emotions and some slight resentment for things in the past he may have done, this might not be good for either of them…I have noticed Rogue's behaviour of late has been reminiscent of her old ways," Professor Xavier explained, "and I would not want to reverse the years it took to help her recover from her own past if she tried to help him rediscover his."  

"Oh…" Kitty mouthed.

Professor Xavier set his eyes on Kitty's, and held her attention.  "If you do not want to help Remy, I cannot make you…if you do not want to, you only have to say so and I'll let you leave the room with no further discussion upon the subject."

             Kitty paused for a moment, and slumped in the chair, she twisted her hands together in frustration, she didn't know the first thing she could say to Remy – a man who wouldn't even remember her – to help him become the man he was before any of this had ever happened.  But the more she thought about it the more she realised that helping Remy was what she needed to help take her mind off of her own sorrows – and besides, she wanted to help him.  She wanted to see the old Remy back in the Mansion, making jokes, and smirking like always.  

             But then she began to think about her frame of mind when Rogue had first told her about the amnesia.  Maybe Remy's amnesia was the best thing for him, maybe with his mind a clean slate he could start his life all over without the past to come back and bite him.  Maybe the amnesia really was the best thing that could have happened to him.  He'd finally gotten what he'd wanted after all…to forget about Rogue.

             "Kitty?" Professor Xavier asked, there had been three minutes of silence.

             Kitty shook herself to her senses, "Sorry…" she stood up.  "Fine…I'll give it a try," she finally decided, "but I gotta be honest…I'm kind of having my doubts about it…"

             "Why?" Professor Xavier asked in concern.

             "Because if his memories return, he might not be as happy as you'd think," she sighed, and with those final words, left the room.


	4. Chapter 4: Remy Doesn't Count

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 6

Chapter 4:  Remy Doesn't Count

             Rogue stared into the monitor that had a camera overlooking the mansion's hospital wing, her eyes glued to the screen, she rested her back stiffly again, she sipped her coffee delicately, never taking her eyes from the screen.  The war room was silent except for the constant hum of computers and the soft clunk of ceramic cup as it was placed down on the metal countertops.  

             On the monitor, she could see Remy sitting quietly, looking around the room, although expression was etched on his face.  A few times she saw his eyes dart to the camera, and for moments she'd feel almost as if he were looking right at her.

             Stop thinking that way, she told herself sternly in her thoughts, she turned her attention to the other monitors, she had to remind herself she wasn't here to look at Remy.  Rogue had other reasons for being in the war room after midnight.  All the hallways in the dorms were set with cameras to make sure students weren't sneaking around after bedtime to cause mischief.  This meant that the X-Men took constant shifts in monitoring the halls via the cameras – tonight was Rogue's turn.  It was one of the most boring duties in the mansion schedules, and normally, Rogue found herself complaining to herself for the eight hours she'd sit overlooking the monitors showing the quiet dimly lit hallways, but tonight was different.  Tonight, she was able to keep an eye on Remy, and being able to see him gave her some vague comfort.

             "Hi."

             Rogue turned to watch Jean Grey sauntering into the war room, her hair tied back tightly making her face seem sharper and her dazzling green eyes all the brighter.  In one hand she clasped a large brown paper bag, the contents of which Rogue could not tell, and in the other hand two soda cans.  Rogue sat a little straighter, "hi Jean," she said, feigning enthusiasm at the sight of the woman.  Jean had never been one of her most favourite people to live with.

             Jean placed the bag and cans of soda down on a space on the countertop and opened the bag up, pulling out various trays of Chinese food, "I thought you might be hungry," she said, "I didn't see you at all at dinner," she explained.

             Rogue watched Jean empty the large paper bag, "I didn't feel much like dinner," she admitted, she opened one of the trays of food up and gazed in, "what is this?" she asked, gesturing to something in sauce.

             "Pork in Black bean sauce," Jean responded, she took a seat nearby Rogue, and opened up a carton, "there's some chow mein there, sweet and sour here, and plain rice of course."

             Rogue watched Jean pick up chopsticks skilfully taking a bite out of the  chow mein, she noticed as Jean did so her attention had turned to the monitor showing Remy in the hospital wing.  Remy appeared to be dozing off peacefully.  "

             "So…you've been watching him, hmm?" Jean asked, she guided the noodles into her mouth without dropping any, Rogue wished she'd mastered chopsticks as well.

             Rogue gave a shrug, locating a plastic fork amongst the food, she dug it into the sweet and sour pork and took a bite, "it was just there, I looked, no big deal, right?" she faked a smile, and turned her attention towards the panel, "god I hate doing nightwatch duty, it's the most boring duty there is in the mansion," she admitted. 

             Jean nodded, "its always good if you want something stress free to do," she admitted, she opened a can of Mountain Dew and took a sip, "how are you coping?" she asked of Rogue casually.

             Rogue paused, "the same as I always am…why should that be questioned?  Just because Remy is in the mansion should mean I'm all frail and helpless again?" she asked darkly, she dropped her fork, suddenly not hungry in the slightest.

             Jean smiled softly, "of course not, its just it must be hard, having someone you care for a great deal tell you they don't even remember you in the slightest," she admitted tenderly, she rested her elbow on the countertop and laid her cheek upon her open palm.

             "T'be honest," Rogue said, "maybe it's better that way," she gave a shrug, wishing she believed these words herself, "Kitty said it…although I'm not really sure what she meant by it…" she ran her fingers through her hair distractedly, staring into space.

             "How do you feel about Remy's amnesia, Rogue?" Jean queried curiously, "truthfully."

             Rogue shrugged, "I don't feel anything about it, its just a fact of life we all have to deal with, why does it matter?" She stood up and paced the room a little to relieve a slight cramp that had begun to grow in her knee.

             Jean watched her, "Rogue, as a telepathic, I sense you're slightly troubled by it, and it may help to talk about it?"

             Rogue sighed, she didn't really feel like talking about it with Jean at all.

             "Rogue…I know you and me have never been the best of friends," Jean admitted softly, she leaned back in her seat, hands now in her lap, "you've never really liked me."

             Rogue drew her breath, "that's not true."

             "Oh come on," Jean gave a soft laugh, "it's alright to admit it, I'm not going to hold a grudge or demand why…I always guessed it was because of the popularity…and the preppyness – and I assume for many other reasons."

             Rogue rubbed the back of her neck absently, "Uhm…yes, but that was years ago, Jean.  I think I'm a bit more grown up than I was at age fifteen thinking you were horrible just because of stupid childish reasons."

             "Jean…"

             Both women raised their heads to the door, Scott Summers was stranding in jeans and a dark green T-shirt that accented every well developed muscle in his upper body.  He gave a slight smile as they acknowledged his presence.

             "Yes?" Jean asked, then took another bite of her food.

             "Illyanna is having a crisis…" Scott stated, "I think you need to have a talk with her."

             "A crisis?" Jean stood up, looking immediately concerned.

             "You know…women's troubles…for the first time…she's in tears…I don't get girls these days," Scott scratched the back of his head, his expression clearly embarrassed.

             Jean smiled, "alright, I'll go see her," she advised, as she passed by Scott, she touched his arm affectionately, and then was gone.

             Rogue glanced up to Scott, he looked as if he wanted to say something.  "How's it goin'?" Rogue asked casually, taking another sip of her soda.

             "Fine, I guess," Scott approached, "How have you been?"

             Rogue gave a shrug, "oh you know, the same as usual."

             "You've been more detached lately than usual, is everything okay?  I didn't see you at the danger room training session this evening – or at dinner."

             "I was busy," Rogue lied, she picked up the small plastic fork and stuck it in the sweet and sour pork tray, moving the food around without reason.

             "You know, if something's wrong, you can tell me," Scott said seriously.  Although to Rogue it seemed his concern was purely as a leader and her as a team member, and not as a friend at all.

             "Nothing's wrong," Rogue leaned back in her chair, "everything is fine."

             "Is this about Remy?"

             "I wish people would stop bringing that up," Rogue sighed, "I don't want to think about it."

             "Then I take it that's a 'yes'," Scott said grimly, he sat down, "you still have feelings for him, right?"

             Rogue dropped the fork, "eight years I've known him, Scott, I just can't turn off my feelings like a water faucet – if I could, I would have done it by now…"

             "Every time you got back to him, you end up being burned, and this time the man doesn't even remember you at all – this could be a sign that it might be time to let go.  After all the things he's done, it should be easy to do that."

             "We went through so much together," Rogue admitted, "And yes, I still hate him for everything he ever done, but part of me wants to forgive him because I know that things just happen and sometimes they can't be helped…and the part of me that loves him can't let go because I know there's no other guy out there who could make me feel quite like he did."

             "How can you know that when you never try…?"

             "Oh come on, Scott," Rogue stood up quickly, her temper flaring, "how many guys out there do you know that are willing to be in a relationship with a woman they can't even kiss…or have sex with?" she pointed out, "there's no future with me, no possibility of children…"

             "You're selling yourself short," Scott stated firmly, "Rogue, you're a beautiful woman, with a wonderful personality, you're strong, you're determined, and you're fun to be with, and all relationships aren't just about sex and marriage and children…they're about companionship."

             Rogue folded her arms, "okay, fine, tell me," she cleared her throat, "if Jean had my powers…if Jean could NEVER kiss you, or touch you, be with you that way…one day bear your children…would you still want to be with her?"

             Scott seemed taken aback, and he stammered wordlessly trying to find an answer to this, Rogue felt very disappointed in this.

             "See?"

             "No, no, wait," Scott held up his hands in defence, "If this were Jean, I would still want to be with her, it would just mean having to be more careful around each other…I'd be willing to be make the effort."

             "Right," Rogue muttered, "But most men AREN'T like you.  They AREN'T willing to be careful, they don't want to do the extra work it takes, they don't want to have purely emotional relationships," she pointed out, "that's why Remy was so important to me – he was willing to do whatever it took, he was willing to do the extra work, he was willing to have an emotional relationship without the physical…he didn't care if I couldn't be with him sexually or not!"

             Scott remained quiet, beginning to find this conversation rather uncomfortable.

             "How am I meant to find a man – in this day and age – who's willing to put up with that, Scott?  A man who's willing to just be content with holdin' my hand with a glove keeping our skin apart.  What man is gonna be willing to never make love to the woman he loves?"

             Scott looked at her, "Rogue, believe me, there are men on this earth who could so easily fall in love with you they would do whatever it takes – and never hurt you – and believe me, Remy isn't one of them."

             "Remy doesn't count anymore, he's an amnesiac!" Rogue sighed, "for all the difference it makes its like he's not even here…there's some stranger lying in that hospital wing.  But if he were okay I believe he would never hurt me again!"

             "Rogue…you're wasting your time and heart on him…move on and you'll find yourself much happier…"

             Rogue felt her eyes water slightly, but wouldn't let herself cry, "you of all people should know what it's like to love someone and never want to let them go…" she sighed, "I thought at least you'd understand…"

             Scott stood up slowly, "I'm sorry, Rogue, I just don't want to see you hurt again," he placed his hand upon her shoulder, which she shrugged away.  Without saying another word, Scott left the War room, leaving Rogue on her own to brood.


	5. Chapter 5: Lessons on You

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 6

Chapter 5:  Lessons on You

             Kitty came into the hospital wing bright and early the next morning, her hair pinned back in glittering flower hair clips, her sapphire eyes slightly accented with just a hint of pale blue eye shadow, and mascara, she wore dark grey pin striped bootcut pants and a navy blue blouse with three quarter length sleeves. 

             "Good morning," she said in a sing song voice as she approached the bed where a tired looking Remy LeBeau was lying bored, biting his nails just for something to do.  His long brown hair was unwashed, unkempt and hanging all over him.  

             "Morning…" Remy replied, seeming rather vague, watching her with eyes of total bewilderment, Kitty could see he didn't recognise her in the slightest. 

             "I'm Katherine Pryde, you can call me Kitty, some call me Shadowcat," she said, she stepped up beside the bed, "don't bite your nails, it's a bad habit," she moved his hand slowly away from his mouth.

             Remy watched her carefully, "So you're Kitty."

             "Oh, you know about me?" she asked, slightly surprised, "Oh…well, I suppose someone might have told you I'd come see you," Kitty sat on the edge of his bed, "I was asked by the Professor to help you out with your memories…I was – I mean am – your friend."

             "I don't really remember you in the slightest either," Remy responded to her softly, he squinted as if he were trying to picture her in his mind and what part she'd played in his life.

             "That's alright, really, it is," Kitty crossed one leg over the other, "how are you feeling anyway?" She asked.  "How's the wound?  Is it healing well?  Are you uncomfortable?  Do you need another pillow?"

             "You sure are talking fast," Remy changed the subject rather quickly.

             "Oh…sorry," Kitty's cheeks flushed scarlet, she began to realise her apprehension with the situation might be causing her speech to speed up out of nervousness – this and having hardly spoken to anyone in the last few days had perhaps built up a collection of talking energy that had to be released maybe, she wasn't sure.  "Sorry, I'll slow down," she promised, "but are you okay?" she asked, guilt beginning to seep in that she hadn't come to see him up until now.

             "I have a bullet hole in my side," Remy admitted, "but apart from that I'm fine…"

             "Good, good," Kitty nodded, she wasn't sure where to start with telling him about himself, "Well…as you were probably told, I'm gonna help you out, you know, answer your questions and tell you about yourself, hopefully it'll help bring some of your memories back, I'm gonna work really hard to help you as much as I can…"

             Remy stopped her from speaking by reaching over and putting his hand upon her arm, "Right…we established that, but I have so many questions I need to ask," he said, his voice full of desperation, "and every time I ask no one is willing to answer…please…"

             "Sorry," Kitty sucked her breath through her teeth sharply, "before you start asking questions…can I just ask how much do you remember?" she queried nervously.  

             "Nothing," Remy responded, "I don't know who I am – apart from the name Remy Lebeau…this is all I know of myself…"

             "Okay," Kitty bit her lip, this was going to be one of the most difficult things she'd ever had to do, to try and teach someone all about himself.   Now she had the problem of trying to figure out where to begin…and decided introducing himself to himself might be the best way. "Well…Remy LeBeau is your name..." Kitty picked her blue nailpolish off absently, "You're twenty-seven years old – you'll be twenty eight on the first of November," she explained, "You were born – as far as we know – in Louisiana and you're bilingual in French and English," she prattled on, "any of this sound familiar?" she asked hopefully.

             Remy's interest seemed to be growing, "No…tell me more."

             Kitty paused, wondering how much else to tell, she began to tell him things, things that were altogether quite general, his favourite foods, his favourite pastimes, she limited how much she told him because she didn't want to overload his brain.  She deliberately left out any information about his mutant powers and his relationship with Rogue.  She felt he wasn't quite ready yet.  

             "So you seem to know me pretty well," Remy admitted, "Or at least, know the Remy I was before I lost my memory – how long have we been friends?" he asked, he began to bite his nails again, Kitty stopped him gently.

             "Around seven years, I guess," Kitty stated, "we weren't like best friends or anything, in fact…we had a lot of differences."

             Remy looked at her with curious eyes, "Did we date?" he raised an eyebrow, never taking his gaze off of her all the while.

             "No…god no," Kitty gave a soft nervous laugh, and as she did her mind drifted back to that night and that kiss in Remy's apartment.  The thought brought a flush of pure scarlet to her face once again, she felt her cheeks become warm and suddenly the room seemed stiflingly hot and stuffy.

             "Why are you blushing?" Remy asked, straightening up a little.

             "I'm not," Kitty protested, "I'm not blushing at all…its just really warm in here," Kitty glanced at her watch, she realised now might be a good time to end the visit – and perhaps spend some time with the other X-Men to re-establish the friendships she'd been neglecting while she'd been mourning. "Geez, I gotta go, I have some stuff to do…stuff I've neglected for way too long…" she stood slowly.

"But there's so much I still don't know…" Remy objected.

Kitty smiled softly, "Hey, don't worry.  When I find the time, I'll try and stop by again…tell you more if I can."

             "So there's a lot more then?" Remy asked hopefully. 

             "Tons," Kitty explained, "but…its so complicated, and I don't think its too good to dump all that shit on you too soon, you just found out a lot…and all this information will stress you out so…"

             "Wait, what could stress me out," Remy leaned forward as if he were about to get out of bed, Kitty stopped him.

             "Nothing," she faked a dazzling smile, "just rest, I'll stop by tomorrow maybe, alright?" she waited for his reply, watching him carefully.  It seemed as if there was a totally different person sitting there.  Sure he had Remy's eyes and Remy's hair, but it wasn't Remy anymore, and it made Kitty feel slightly uneasy.

             Remy sighed finally, nodding in agreement.  "Okay, but you promise, right?" he asked, in a tone that reminded Kitty of a little boy making a mother promise something special.  
             Kitty nodded, "I promise," she crossed her heart, then left the room.

             Kitty knocked on Professor Xavier's office door, and waited patiently for a response.

             {Just a few moments, Kitty,} the Professor's voice echoed in her mind, Kitty sat on the small velvet cushioned chair outside the office and waited patiently.  Finally, the office door opened, and Monet St Croix, a sixteen year old student Kitty had already had a run in with the day before, exited, she looked quite hostile, her long black hair flowing behind her as she ignored Kitty and continued to walk down the hall disappearing around the corner.

             Kitty stood and entered through the door into the office, the office was warm, and friendly, and Professor Xavier – despite his stern expression – was ever welcoming.  "Monet didn't look too happy," Kitty commented as she closed the door quietly, then stepped over.

             "Yes, she's been giving a lot of the instructors a hard time," the Professor nodded, "especially Logan.  She questions everything he asks her to do in training."

             Kitty sat down on the chair in front of the desk as the Professor gestured to it, "Yes, I know, she gives me a hard time too – she's incredibly smart and likes to show off about it, try and catch me out and make me look stupid – and she's succeeded several times."

             "Yes," The Professor nodded, "I just advised her if she intends remaining at the school and becoming one of the X-Men in future she should curb this attitude of hers," he explained. 

             "Kids these days," Kitty shook her head with a slight smile, "we were never that bad when we were kids, were we?"

             Professor Xavier smiled rather slyly, "In some ways your generation were worse if possible," he picked up a folder from his desktop and put it into a drawer as he spoke.

             "No way," Kitty made a face.

             "You and Rogue were quite the trouble makers of your day," Professor Xavier's voice was light, he was definitely amused, "Sneaking out to go to nightclubs, stealing the van when neither of you had a drivers license, deliberately short circuiting equipment as a diversion so Rogue could sneak out…" he raised a sharp eyebrow.

             Kitty's cheeks once again flushed, "Yeah well…we were kids, what'd you expect?  Besides, we learned our lesson once it all went pearshaped," she reminded.

             "Yes…" the Professor's expression darkened.  "Anyway I doubt you're here to reminisce, Kitty, is something on your mind?"

             "Yeah," Kitty leaned forward in her chair, she looked the Professor right in the eyes, "Remy isn't showing any signs of remembering the stuff I just told him, I mean I spent like two hours telling him all the general stuff…"

             Professor Xavier sighed, "I'd feared as much…"

             "Of course I'm gonna keep trying…but it's kind of worrying me…" Kitty said, "I mean I have all this responsibility of trying to help Remy – what if I can't?"

             "If you can't, then it won't be your fault, Kitty," the Professor assured, "in the meantime, me and Jean are going to try and enter his mind further to see if we can dig out some memories – any at all – that might help him unlock the rest."

             "When?" Kitty asked, her eyes wide.

             "Tonight," The Professor explained, "in the meantime I'd appreciate your complete discretion regarding this information – and Remy's condition.  Please do not tell Rogue."

             "Of course I won't," Kitty assured, she stood slowly.  "I hope your luck is better than mines, Professor," Kitty added as she headed for the door.

             "So do I, Kitty, so do I."


	6. Chapter 6: No Traces

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 6

Chapter 6: No Traces

             Rogue turned the corner towards the hospital wing, and started down the hall, her Nike sneakers making a soft tap along the marble floors.  The hall was quiet, and she expected Remy might be asleep in the hospital wing, she hadn't been to the war room to check on the monitor if he was or not.

             It didn't matter if he was, she just wanted to see him again – and after all, he'd asked her to come back and see him.  

             She was glad so far she hadn't bumped into anyone on her way to the hospital wing.  She knew how they'd react, she knew they'd tell her it was a bad idea, she knew they'd remind her that Remy had no memory of her, no love for her.  Rogue didn't want to hear it.  She had to believe his memory would come back.   She wanted his memory to come back, so that she could have one last chance of a relationship with him.

             There isn't any chance, Scott said it himself, Rogue thought dully as she continued slowly down the hall, she kept the noise to a minimum in case someone might hear her and try to stop her from seeing him.  

             Scott Summers was probably right.  Remy couldn't remember Rogue, why should she focus all her love and attention on the hope that he might one day be alright again when that day might never come.  

             Rogue thought bitterly back to the day where she'd moved over to embrace him and he'd pushed her away.  She'd wanted him back so badly right at that moment, wanted to feel him close, feel his heart beating through the flimsy fabric of his t-shirt against her cheek, feel those strong arms around her in the way he used to hold her.  

             She stopped halfway in the hall, to ask herself what she was doing.  The man didn't remember her, what was the point of going to see him, how could she explain to him that she was in love with him even when he could never remember loving her.  It seemed so hopeless.

             Rogue stood for some moments, maybe Scott was right, maybe Bobby was right, maybe they all were, maybe she should just give up and move on.  Scott had said there were plenty of men out there who could easily fall in love with her…men who would do what it takes, and Remy hadn't been willing.

             In fact, Remy had pushed her away because he wasn't willing to forgive her for her labelling him a murderer.  But if that was so, why had Kitty told her that Remy still wanted to be with her?  If Remy still wanted to be with her, why had he pushed her away?

             Rogue leaned against the wall, she glanced down the hall where the door to the hospital wing was, and then down the other direction, the way she'd just come from.  The question now was if she should continue walking towards Remy, and let herself be hurt once again if he didn't remember her, or once he did remember and decided not to take her back, or to walk away and avoid the pain.

             But then she realised if she walked away she'd always find herself wondering, always find herself thinking 'what if…'.  She sighed and continued to walk slowly down the hall towards the door, what would she say to him once she got in there? 

             What can I say? Rogue asked herself feeling rather downhearted.  Hi, I'm your ex-girlfriend from seven years ago and you don't remember me but I was wondering if we could get back together?

             Rogue scolded herself for how stupid it would be to walk in there without clearly thinking about what she could say.  Why say anything about it though? She suddenly asked herself.  Why not just act natural and spend some time with him?  Then maybe as they spent more time together his memories of her might return…

             For all I know, a subtle smile might open the flood gates, Rogue thought hopefully, she now stood opposite the door into the hospital wing, she reached forward turning the handle slowly and opening it.  The moment she did, voices seemed to flow out, she realised someone was already in there with him.  

             It was Jean's voice.

             "Don't worry, Remy, it won't hurt a bit, you will feel a little lightheaded, perhaps even feel like you're asleep…" Jean was saying.

             Rogue stayed still at the door, leaving it hanging slightly ajar, listening carefully.  What were they doing, she wondered.

             "All we're going to do is go deep into your mind and see if we can find any memories lingering, and try to bring them forward," Professor Xavier said softly. 

             "Alright…" Remy sounded quite unsure about all this.

             "Just calm yourself now, close your eyes, relax your breathing," Professor Xavier said, "You may have a strange sensation as if you're falling, but don't worry, you're perfectly safe," he promised.

             Rogue peered through the crack in the door, watching carefully.  All three of them, Remy, Jean and Professor Xavier, had their eyes closed lightly.  The Professor was at one side of the bed in his wheelchair, Jean was sitting on the bed at Remy's left side, Jean had two fingers upon Remy's left temple, Professor Xavier had two fingers upon Remy's right temple, Remy looked as if he might be asleep, while Jean and the Professor seemed deep in concentration.

             Rogue shivered.  They were in his mind, and it left her uneasy, there were many things that they didn't know about her and Remy that they might stumble upon in his mind, like the incident in the shower perhaps.  The Professor would have a heartattack if he saw that in Remy's mind.  

             For fifteen minutes there was nothing but silence in the room, and Rogue could not tear herself away from watching, just in case something extraordinary happened, hoping that perhaps Remy would sit up and say he remembered everything.

             "Professor, I think he's sleeping…" Jean's voice was soft, finally breaking the deafening silence, Rogue gazed over at them, Remy indeed was asleep, he looked so peaceful lying there.

             "Yes, he is, he's drifted into sleep…it would be best not to disturb him – he has gone through a lot, and probing of the mind can exhaust someone considerably," Professor Xavier responded, he moved away from the bed.

             "I didn't find anything out," Jean gave a deep sigh, she stood up and stretched a little, and then moved her hair out of her face, "did you?"

             "No…nothing…his mind…is like a vast empty room…not even the speck of dust of a memory…" the Professor sounded deeply concerned, the expression on his face alone made Rogue's heart thud so hard she thought it might burst within her chest.

             "Perhaps we should try again, when he's stronger?" Jean asked, her voice very quiet.  "After all he's so weak from the wound…that could be affecting his mind, couldn't it?"

             "I doubt this would help – Jean, what did you see in his mind?" Professor Xavier asked, matter-of-factly, his frown building slightly.

             Jean paused for thought, she folded her arms insecurely, "I saw nothing…nothing at all, not even memories of school, or family…not of friends…not of places he'd been or things he'd done…not even pieces of broken memories, nothing…" she frowned a little, "this doesn't make sense, if he has no memory…no information in his brain what so ever, how can he be able to communicate with us…its almost as if he's literally brain dead – but isn't."

             Rogue listened closely, how could someone be brain dead but still communicating so perfectly?  Jean was right, it didn't make sense at all.

             "I was thinking this too," Professor Xavier stated, "with the condition his mind is in, Remy should have the mindset of an infant, he should only understand the food in his mouth and not much more…" he frowned in concentration, "yet, he clearly understands everything…he's clearly not in the mindset of an infant…how can this be?" The Professor looked down at Remy.

             "Perhaps there's something we're overlooking, is it possible we missed a section of his mind where all the memories could be hidden?"

             "No…we were thorough, Jean…" the Professor assured, "his mind was completely open…"

             Rogue felt herself trembling with anxiety at learning this information, her heart was pounding even harder now, she could hear it in her ears.

             "I thought Remy's mind was never completely open…" Jean responded in a low voice, her voice was so soft now, Rogue could barely even hear it from the slightly opened door.

             "Up until this point…but now…there's nothing concealed in his mind at all…its as if everything were wiped blank," Professor Xavier explained.

             "How do we explain the fact he's still able to think and speak as he was before?" Jean asked firmly.

             "I'm unsure," Professor Xavier sighed, rubbing his forehead.

             "Are you alright?" Jean asked concernedly, she moved over to him, looking at him with wide, worried green eyes.

             "A slight headache, but nothing I cannot endure," the Professor assured, he smiled a little at Jean's almost daughterly concern.

             Rogue stood deep in thought.  How could this be?  How could Remy have no memories in his head, how could his mind be open?  How could he be able to speak and think as he was when he should have the mental capacity of a baby?  Her head was swimming, thoughts whirling around inside her head. 

"You know…when Remy first gained consciousness when we brought him here, when he looked at me I was sure I saw some recognition…the same when he looked at Rogue…" Jean sighed.

"That may be, but if this were true we would have seen that in his mind – which we did not.  Apart from the things he has learned today from Kitty, he knows absolutely nothing of himself…or us."

"Surely there must be some sort of hope that he can gain those memories back somehow…" Jean tried, "if he can recognise me then there must be some hope."  
             "He cannot gain back what is not there anymore, Jean," Professor Xavier sounded rather upset.

Rogue's heart suddenly felt as if it had stopped as the Professor had spoken those words, she felt her breath catch in her throat and she watched through the door, standing ever so still.

Jean chewed her lip, "Surely you don't mean…"

Rogue stood silent, tears threatening to spill as she listened to Professor Xavier's final words on the matter.

"Jean, there are no traces of his memories anywhere in his mind…I'm afraid Remy will NEVER gain back his memories…"

- The End (Or is it? Dun dun Dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn).


End file.
